Understanding Procrastination - Inside the Mind of the Master Procrastinator

A common problem that we all face – procrastination.  Tim Urban’s popular Ted Talk provides some key insights into how our minds work in our procrastinating moments.  Based on this self-awareness, we can become more conscious of how to choose to not procrastinate the most important things in life.  Below are some process questions to help you think through the material:

1.  Draw a graph of how you work on assignments or projects

2.       What 2 things does the instant gratification monkey care about?

3.       What are some things that humans can do that no other animal can do?

4.       What makes for success for a dog?

5.       What are the criteria for decisions for the rational decision maker?

6.       Why are the seemingly fun activities in “the dark playground” not really fun?

7.       Who helps rescue the procrastinator from the gratification monkey? How does he do it?

8.       What are the 2 kinds of procrastination?

9.       What impact does long term procrastination have on a person?

10.   Why does the panic monster help with long term procrastination?

11.   What was Tim Urban’s epiphany? 

12.   How does he suggest that we begin to get a handle on our procrastinating?

13.   When should you do something about your procrastinating habit?

14.   What is your most important realization from listening to this talk?

15.   What is 1 step you need to take to get better in this area?

 

 

Understanding and Dealing with Automatic Thoughts

Cognitive Behavior Therapy identifies the mastering of automatic thoughts as key for overcoming anxiety, depression and even anger issues.  A key idea is that all the thoughts that pop into your brain are not really your mature and realistic thought processes.  Your initial thoughts provide options, but it is vital to your mental well-being that you evaluate and choose to hold onto thoughts that are beneficial.  When we are stuck, we tend to automatically accept our initial thoughts as true without questioning the validity, and then faulty thoughts have a great influence on our emotions and our behaviors, sabotaging our personal well-being and our relationships.  To overcome this it is important to become adept at understanding and dealing with your automatic thoughts.  

Watch the video to learn how automatic thoughts contribute to anxiety.  Questions 1-6 below are basic comprehension questions to help you identify some key concepts from the video.  Questions 7-11 are application questions that can help you begin to deal with your own automatic thoughts. 

Happy Thinking!

Questions:

1. What happens to people who get caught in cycles of automatic negative thinking?

2. Give an example of an automatic thought for each of the following categories of cognitive distortion:

• Assuming or Mind-Reading
• Shoulds, musts & oughts
• The Fairy Tale Fantasy
• Overgeneralizing
• Catastrophizing

3. How do you stop Automatic Thoughts?

4. What are the 3 Rs you can use to control automatic thoughts

5. If it is hard to think of a good response to your own automatic thought, what should you do?

6. Why do you think people can think of a good response to the overgeneralizing thought of a friend, but not to your own overgeneralizing thought?

Application: 

7. What automatic thoughts do you experience? 

8. What emotion are they related to (fear, anger, sadness)?  

9. In what circumstances do you find yourself experiencing a lot of automatic thoughts?

10. What cognitive distortion do you see yourself using?

11. What can your replace this cognitive distortion with?
 

Are You an Ideal Team Player?

Patrick Lencioni, in his book, identifies 3 qualities that make for an ideal team player.  In our interdependent and interconnected world, the ability to get along and thrive on a "team" has become more and more of a necessity for people entering the corporate workplace.  And these virtues impact every area of our involvement from our families to recreational groups to which we belong.  If you're trying to build a team, these ideas can help you discern who to bring on the team and who to leave out.

Watch the video and then take a look in the mirror to see how you can grow to become more of an ideal team player. The questions below should be of help

1.       Name & describe the 3 important virtues of a team player.

2.       What are some false ideas of humility?   What is the real meaning?

3.       What virtue is the accidental messmaker missing and what problem does this create for the team?

4.       What virtue is the lovable slacker missing and what problem does this create for the team?

5.       What virtue is the skillful politician missing and what problem does this create for the team?

Application Questions:

6.       Evaluate yourself and rank your humility, hunger & smarts.  What is your lowest and why do you think it is your lowest?

7.     What can you do to improve?

8.       Who are the best people that you can you ask for advice about how to improve?

9.    Perhaps your rank would be different in different groups in which you are involved.  Try to think of 3 different groups to which you belong (work, family, volunteer group)  Rank the 3 virtues as you perceive yourself in each of the 3 groups

Defensiveness Causes Big Problems in Relationships

 Jim Tamm, a judge from California, has researched the problems caused by defensiveness.  In this Ted Talk - Cultivating Collaboration: Don't be so Defensive! -  he offers his insight on how to lower your personal defensiveness and thus increase your ability collaborate with every group that you are a part of.  

Here are some questions to help you garner main points from the material and make a few personal applications:

1. How do red zone chickens become stars?
2. Describe a Red Zone environment
3. What is the difference between internally competitive and externally competitive?
4. What happens when we become defensive?
5. In which of your relationships do you find yourself being very defensive?
6. What increases when you decrease your defensiveness?
7. How did you feel after the speaker’s actions at 8:08 in the video?
8. What are we defending ourselves from when we get defensive?
9. What are the areas of our 3 big fears? **Which of those 3 is causes the biggest defensive reaction in you?
10. What are the 5 steps the speaker gives to become less defensive?
11. Why is it important to acknowledge your defensiveness?
12. What is a good way for you to slow down your physiology?
13. What negative self-talk do you use?
14. What action step can you make that is directly related to your own signs of defensiveness?
15. Below are listed common signs of defensiveness from the video:  Which of these do you use?

• Withdrawal into deadly silence
• Playing poor me
• All or nothing thinking
• Wanting to be right
• Blaming or shaming others
• Sudden drop in IQ/confusion
• High charge of energy in the body
• Catastrophizing everything
• Wanting the last word
• Obsessive thinking
• Flooding with information to prove a point