Information in this post comes from Dr. John Cheydleur's book
Called to Counsel, in which he
describes 12 Common Counseling Mistakes that lay counselors and nonprofessional
Christian Counselors tend to make. (Used with permission)
4. Inappropriate Self-Disclosure
Selective and focused self-disclosure on the part of the counselor unlocks difficult areas for the client. It can also build a stronger bond between the counselor and client, help to break down the client’s sense of isolation, and provide a very real hope. However, one of the most common counseling mistakes is for self-disclosure to occur too early in the interview.
Selective and focused self-disclosure on the part of the counselor unlocks difficult areas for the client. It can also build a stronger bond between the counselor and client, help to break down the client’s sense of isolation, and provide a very real hope. However, one of the most common counseling mistakes is for self-disclosure to occur too early in the interview.
When this happens,
you can end up with role reversal. The
role of the counselor is to pay undivided attention in order to listen to both
verbal and non-verbal messages of the client.
However, with inappropriate self-disclosure, the counselee is now
listening and processing the counselor.
Example:
Counselee: Have you
ever experience being betrayed?
Counselor: Oh! That is a long story, but I will share
a short version with you. When I was 18, I fell in
love… I could not believe what she did in spite
of
all my sacrifices… (5 minutes have already passed
and the counselor is still telling his own story.)
Counselee: Tell me more. . . What else? What
happened next?
Another problem
arises when self-disclosure is too intense.
The counselee can feel uncomfortable with the material being disclosed,
and this can also trigger memories of traumatic events that the counselee has
experienced. Or the counselee might feel
obligated to tell his or her own story as a response to the counselor’s
self-disclosure.
How to correct this mistake:
Process the
counselee's thought and feelings in reaction to your testimony and/or your
interpretation of his problem.
Principles to Follow in Counselor’s
Self-disclosure:
1. Self-disclose
for the client’s need, not your own.
2. Keep your
sharing brief, then go right back to what the counselee was sharing, allowing
him or her to continue to work on the issue.
3. When you share,
don’t seek to have the client respond to your feelings.
4. Listen to the
client’s spirit and the Holy Spirit, not just your own spirit
I will be discussing more common counseling mistakes in upcoming posts . . .
