Taking a Look in the Mirror of Self-Confrontation - The Honest Liars by Cortney Warren

Life is hard.  Lying is one of the common defense mechanisms we use to protect ourselves and others from negative consequences.  So if you have lied and deceived yourself - you are not alone.  Quit blaming others: your parents, spouse, children, haters or yourself for a mistake or sin you have committed.  Take ownership of your life and take responsibility for not taking the initiative to change for the better.  The following are questions that are designed to process important ideas, evaluate your behavior, and embark on a quest to confront yourself and grow.  To my students or patients I am sending to watch this video this can save some counseling hours if you simply take a paper and pen and begin answering these process questions.  We can discuss what you have learned and create a personal application or changes you are hoping to accomplish in your life.  

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1.       When is a time in your life that you fooled yourself into believing something that was false?

2.       What is a time in your life that you refused to believe something that was true?

3.       How do we gain the opportunity to change?

4.       What painful experience from your childhood has had a great influence on who you are today?

5.       When is a situation where you have been in denial?

6.       In what situations do you use rationalization?

7.       In which of your relationships do you find yourself projecting?

8.       From your own life, give an example of when you have used the following cognitive distortions:

                                                               i.      Polarized thinking

                                                             ii.      Emotional reasoning

                                                           iii.      Overgeneralization

9.       How does the speaker interpret meaninglessness?

10.   In what ways have you compromised yourself to meet cultural norms?

11.   What is the biggest problem with self-deception?

12.   Why was there was nothing her boyfriend could do that would make her feel safe? 

13.   What is the first step to becoming more honest to ourselves and stopping the self-deception

14.   When are some important times to stop and observe yourself? 

15.   In your most recent conflict, how did you react?  What does that reaction tell you about yourself?

16.   According to the speaker:   Although we cannot control many of the situations we experience in life, we are responsible for our reactions to all of them.  What are your thoughts on this statement?  When has this been a hard truth for you to accept? 

17.   When you hear the speaker say, “What if my whole life changes? . . .   What if it doesn’t change?”  What about your life comes to your mind?

 

Leading with Vulnerability for Emotionally Healthy Spirituality

A core value of Emotionally Healthy Spirituality is vulnerability.  This famous Ted Talk explores how a social scientist in her research discovered the importance of vulnerability to be able to connect with other people, while offering a glimpse into Dr. Brown’s personal struggle to apply this wonderful truth in her own life.  If you are planning to lead any of the Emotionally Healthy curriculum, it is very important that you lead with vulnerability.  

Below are listed some study questions to help you glean important points and integrate the learning into your own life.  The ** questions are the personal application questions.  (What does vulnerability look like in your life)

1. What destroys connection?
2. What is the one variable that separates people who really have a sense of worthiness (they have a strong sense of love and belonging) from the folks who struggle for it (folks who are always wondering if they're good enough)?
3. What do you absolutely have to do for connection? 
4. The people who felt worthy believed that  ________________ was necessary.  They had a willingness to say  ______________________ FIRST.  They are willing to do something when there are no guarantees.  They _________________ in a relationship that may or may not work out
5. Vulnerability is the core of ______________ & _____________ & our struggle for ___________________shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it's also the ________________ of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love.
6. What is a very common response to vulnerability?
7. **How do you numb vulnerability?
8. What is the problem with numbing vulnerability?
9. **What things make you feel vulnerable?
10. **_________________  is a way to discharge pain and discomfort. When is a recent time that you blamed someone?  What caused you to blame?  How did you feel before you blamed them?  How did you feel after? 
11. What are children hardwired for?  What does this mean?  According to the speaker what is the important job of parents?
12. What’s the most important thing to do when we do something wrong?
13. What is the other way instead of numbing vulnerability?
14. What happens when we believe that we are enough?
15. **Do you believe that you are enough?  Why or why not?
16. **What ideas in here are new for you?
17. **How do these ideas relate to your faith?

 

Breaking the Power of Anxiety - 4 Session Group Therapy (CBT/Biblically based)

    Breaking the Power of Anxiety is a 4-week group workshop on Zoom with group process meant to help people struggling with anxiety. Each session will consist of approximately 45 minutes of lecture and education about anxiety:  its symptoms, its causes and how to overcome it.  The lectures are Biblically based and bring in current psychological information and research based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.  After the lecture, there will be about 1 hour for participants to process the information in a small group setting.  Questions will be presented to engage participants with information and techniques of the lecture.  The purpose here is for participants to gain self-awareness of how anxiety strikes them and its roots, along with skills for self-regulating and self-soothing when they are beginning to feel anxious.  

    The group process follows the rule - Invite, not inflict - meaning you are always invited to participate with questions, but never required to or forced to participate.  There will be "homework" for the participants to pay attention to their own thought patterns and emotional reactions during the week so that they can learn to regulate their physiological responses that lead to fight and flight reactions which can lead to generalized anxiety or panic attacks.

Dates:  Mondays:  December 7, 14, 21 & January 4
Time 7-9 pm (Philippines time)
Cost: P1000 covers all 4 sessions

to register, email rickandjijiharner@yahoo.com for details & zoom link

If money is the reason for not attending this workshop.  There are scholarships available.  

Please email josefalaprodes@yahoo.com to find out more about scholarships

Dr. Jiji Harner, who specializes in mood disorder will be lecturing and overseeing the seminar.  Small group process will be run by facilitators trained by Dr. Jiji

Foundations of Emotional Health January 2021

    My husband Rick will be teaching Foundations of Emotional Health in January through Cebu Graduate School of Theology.  This class will give you a strong biblical foundation in dealing with the emotional and relational struggles you face.  This is also a great opportunity to strengthen relationships and get to know another person at a much deeper level.  It's great for spouses to take together or friends who are looking to deepen their relationship with the Lord together.

    There are 2 sections:  Friday mornings or Thursday evenings

    You can find more information about how to register at this FACEBOOK EVENT

    Jesus said that he can sum up all of Scripture in 2 sentences:  Love God and Love your neighbor as yourself.  Yet, Christians are following society and becoming so busy, so numbed and so distracted that we are not loving well.  And if we are not loving well, then we are not maturing as Christians.  The whole point of Emotionally Healthy Church is that spiritual and emotional maturity are inseparable.  It is impossible to be spiritually mature and remain emotionally immature (meaning that we are unable to love well those who are around us – the people closest to us don’t feel loved).

    Often Christians ignore their "negative" emotions (anger, sadness, fear, pain) for fear of sinning.  This is called denial and it has long term impacts on a person's physical and emotional health.  These “negative” emotions are meant to tell us something and should be brought to God so He can deal with our hearts.  If we are ignoring them, we are missing what God wants to do inside of us. 

    It is difficult to break off from the powerful patterns of our past until we know what they are and how they impact our present lifestyle and our walk with God.   Jesus' life-transforming power needs to penetrate and change many of the patterns of relating that we learned growing up in our families.  These patterns are expressed not only in our current family relationships, but also in our relationships in the workplace and in ministry. 

    Foundations of Emotional Health looks at 7 principles to help us experience deep transformation through our relationship with Christ.

1. Looking beneath the surface of our lives at the things that are tripping us up

2.  Breaking the power of past experiences that have shaped our emotional lives and behaviors in ways that are not loving

3.  Learning to live in vulnerability so that we can openly express our hurts and our love.

4.  Realizing our limits as human beings so that we will not burn ourselves out

5.  Grieving our losses before the Lord instead of pretending everything is ok

6.  Paying attention to others like Jesus did so that they feel loved

7.  Slowing down the pace of our lives so that we are spending quality time with the Lord and our cups will overflow.   Then we will be able to love others well and lead with integrity.  

The course is interactive and reflective.  We will learn skills and do activities that will help us to understand ourselves so that we can love better – both the Lord and those around us