Taking a Look in the Mirror of Self-Confrontation - The Honest Liars by Cortney Warren

Life is hard.  Lying is one of the common defense mechanisms we use to protect ourselves and others from negative consequences.  So if you have lied and deceived yourself - you are not alone.  Quit blaming others: your parents, spouse, children, haters or yourself for a mistake or sin you have committed.  Take ownership of your life and take responsibility for not taking the initiative to change for the better.  The following are questions that are designed to process important ideas, evaluate your behavior, and embark on a quest to confront yourself and grow.  To my students or patients I am sending to watch this video this can save some counseling hours if you simply take a paper and pen and begin answering these process questions.  We can discuss what you have learned and create a personal application or changes you are hoping to accomplish in your life.  

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1.       When is a time in your life that you fooled yourself into believing something that was false?

2.       What is a time in your life that you refused to believe something that was true?

3.       How do we gain the opportunity to change?

4.       What painful experience from your childhood has had a great influence on who you are today?

5.       When is a situation where you have been in denial?

6.       In what situations do you use rationalization?

7.       In which of your relationships do you find yourself projecting?

8.       From your own life, give an example of when you have used the following cognitive distortions:

                                                               i.      Polarized thinking

                                                             ii.      Emotional reasoning

                                                           iii.      Overgeneralization

9.       How does the speaker interpret meaninglessness?

10.   In what ways have you compromised yourself to meet cultural norms?

11.   What is the biggest problem with self-deception?

12.   Why was there was nothing her boyfriend could do that would make her feel safe? 

13.   What is the first step to becoming more honest to ourselves and stopping the self-deception

14.   When are some important times to stop and observe yourself? 

15.   In your most recent conflict, how did you react?  What does that reaction tell you about yourself?

16.   According to the speaker:   Although we cannot control many of the situations we experience in life, we are responsible for our reactions to all of them.  What are your thoughts on this statement?  When has this been a hard truth for you to accept? 

17.   When you hear the speaker say, “What if my whole life changes? . . .   What if it doesn’t change?”  What about your life comes to your mind?