Self-Care 104: Overcoming Health Anxiety When Thoughts of "What Ifs" are Surging - by Dr. Jiji Harner

 Dear Friend,

You have been asking me repeatedly if the thoughts you have about your health are accurate. If your doctor really sees or understands what is really going on. Can you really even to the lab result when it is negative and you feel unwell and something really is wrong. You have tried many doctors and been to many laboratories but still not convinced and the thought of “what if… causes you to panic."

 

Understanding Health Anxiety:

When worry about health takes over, most of us get concerned when we feel a strange ache or a bump that wasn’t there before—it’s natural to care about your health. But for some people, this worry becomes constant and overwhelming. That’s where health anxiety—previously called hypochondriasis—comes in.

 

So, What Is Health Anxiety?

        Health anxiety is when someone becomes excessively worried that they’re seriously ill, even when medical tests show nothing is wrong. Every small symptom—a headache, a twitch, a sore throat—can feel like a sign of something dangerous. And even reassurance from doctors often doesn’t ease the fear for long.

It’s not about faking illness or being dramatic. People with health anxiety truly feel something is wrong. Their minds are caught in a loop: noticing a symptom, imagining the worst, seeking reassurance, and feeling relief—until the worry returns.

 

Why Does It Happen?

Health anxiety isn’t a choice. It can come from:

• Past experiences with illness—either personal or someone close to them.
• Personality traits like a tendency to worry or perfectionism.
• Stress or trauma can make the brain more sensitive to bodily sensations.

 

Over time, the brain starts interpreting harmless signals (like a muscle twitch) as threats. The more we focus on these signals, the more anxious we become, and the stronger the symptoms may actually feel.

 

How Does It Affect Life?

Living with a constant fear of illness can be exhausting. People may:

• Avoid hospitals or even hearing about diseases.
• Constantly searching about your symptoms online, which often fuels more panic.
• Visit doctors frequently—or avoid them altogether.
• Struggle to enjoy daily life because the fear is always lurking.

It’s not just about worry—it can affect relationships, work, and overall peace of mind.

 

The Good News: It’s Treatable

Here’s the hopeful part: health anxiety is very treatable. With the right support, people can learn to trust their bodies again and quiet the anxious thoughts. Treatments like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) help change the patterns of thinking that feed health anxiety. Mindfulness, stress management, and sometimes medication can also help.

            You don’t have to “just live with it.” Many people who once felt stuck in a cycle of fear have learned to break free and feel better.

 

ILLNESS ANXIETY DISORDER (IAD)

📋 DSM-5 Diagnostic Criteria:

To be diagnosed with Illness Anxiety Disorder, the following must be present:

1. Preoccupation with having or acquiring a serious illness.
   – The worry is persistent, even when there are few or no physical symptoms.
2. Somatic symptoms are either not present or are only mild in intensity.
   – If there are symptoms, they do not explain the level of anxiety.
3. High level of health anxiety.
   – The person is easily alarmed about their health status.
4. Excessive health-related behaviors, such as:
• Repeatedly checking the body for signs of illness, or
• Avoidance (e.g., avoiding doctor visits or hospitals out of fear).
5. Illness-related fears persist for at least 6 months,
   – But the specific illness feared can change over time.
6. The illness preoccupation is not better explained by another mental disorder, such as:
• Somatic symptom disorder
• Panic disorder
• Generalized anxiety disorder
• Body dysmorphic disorder
• Obsessive-compulsive disorder

 

🧠 Here is how you can differentiate if what you are experiencing is Illness Anxiety Disoder or Somatic Symptom Disorder

 

Feature	Illness Anxiety Disorder (IAD)	Somatic Symptom Disorder (SSD)
Somatic Symptoms	Mild or absent	Prominent and distressing
Main Focus	Fear of having/getting a serious illness	The symptoms themselves (pain, fatigue, etc.)
Health Anxiety	Very high	May be present, but anxiety is about symptoms more than disease
Behavioral Patterns	Repeated checks, reassurance-seeking, or avoidance	High levels of medical use, worry about symptoms
Duration	6 months or more	6 months or more (though symptoms may vary)
Example	"I’m sure I have cancer, even if the test says no."	"This pain is ruining my life—why won’t it go away?"

 

 

💌 THERE IS HELP AVAILABLE:

        When you are ready for a session with me just send me a personal message on Messenger Jiji Harner 

       Here is more information about my services: https://safeguardmentalhealth.org/

                                                           Photo by Rejen Bosquit

 CRISIS PLAN WHEN HEALTH ANXIETY IS SURGING AGAIN

🛑 STEP 1: Pause & Breathe (Mindful Awareness)

Instruction:
           Sit comfortably. Gently close your eyes. Place one hand over your heart and one on your stomach. Breathe in deeply through your nose for a count of 4… hold for 4… and exhale through your mouth for 6.

 

Prayer Whisper:

            "Lord, quiet my thoughts. I inhale Your peace… I exhale my fear."

 

Bible Verse to Meditate On:

            “Be still, and know that I am God.” – Psalm 46:10

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🙏 STEP 2: Acknowledge the Present Moment

Instruction:
             Say out loud or in your heart:

                   "Right now, I feel anxious. My mind is racing. But I choose to stay here in this      moment with God, not in imagined fears."

Prayer:

           "Father, You are here with me in this moment. Not in my past, not in the future. Help me to be fully present and to trust that Your Spirit is within me, calming me."

Bible Promise:

            “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18

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💡 STEP 3: Declare God's Control Over Your Health

 

Out loud, declare God’s authority:

"God is in control of my body. He knit me together. Nothing escapes His eye or care."

Prayer:

          "Lord, You are my Creator. You know every cell in my body. You are not surprised by my condition. I surrender to Your perfect plan for my health. Help me trust You completely."

Bible Verse:

           “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

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🧠 STEP 4: Release the Need to Understand Everything

Acknowledge the tendency to fear what you don’t understand. Then release it.

             "I don’t have to understand everything. That’s not my job. I trust the One who does."

Prayer:

        "Father, calm the whirlwind in my mind. I lay down the 'what-ifs' and 'maybes.' I choose to rest in the truth that You know what I do not. I lean not on my own understanding."

Bible Verse:

          “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” – Proverbs 3:5

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👨‍⚕️ STEP 5: Trust the Doctors God Has Provided

Pray over your care team and release fear of misdiagnosis or error.

Prayer:

         "Lord, You have placed trained professionals in my life to help me. Give them wisdom. Let me trust that You are working through them, and that I don’t need to be afraid of what I imagine. Anchor me in the truth, not my emotions."

Bible Verse:

          “Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance.” – Proverbs 1:5

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🛡️ STEP 6: Declare Your Safety in God’s Hands

Place your hand over your heart and declare:

            "I am safe. I am held. I am not alone."

Prayer:

           "God, I declare that I am not forsaken. Your Spirit comforts me. Even now, I am being healed in ways I may not see yet. I accept where I am. I release panic. I receive peace."

Bible Verse:

          “Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering... by his wounds we are healed.” – Isaiah 53:4–5

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🕊️ STEP 7: End with Stillness and Gratitude

Spend 1–2 minutes in silence. With each breath, silently thank God.

               “Thank You, God, for Your peace… for Your healing… for Your presence.”

Prayer:

             "Thank You, Father, for hearing my prayer. You are in control. I trust You with my body, my mind, my doctors, and my future. You are good. Amen."

Bible Verse:

            “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” – Isaiah 26:3

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🌱 Practice This Daily or As Needed

This prayer and grounding method can be used whenever fear arises. You don’t need to “feel” peace to receive it — just show up, breathe, and let God's truth settle into you.

  

🧠 JOURNAL YOUR RESPONSE AS YOU FACE YOUR HEALTH ANXIETY

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🌱 1. Externalize the Problem

You are not a problem – the anxiety is.

ü  It sounds like ‘Health Anxiety’ has been showing up in your life a lot lately. When did it first start trying to take over?
or

ü  Let’s call that constant worry ‘The Voice of Illness Fear.’ What kind of things does it say to you?

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🔍 2. Name and Describe the Anxiety

Let personify this thoughts so we can understand how it behaves.

ü  If this health fear had a personality, what would it be like? Pushy? Clever? Sneaky?

ü  What tricks does it use to convince you something’s wrong?

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🧭 3. Explore the Effects of the Problem Story

ü  When the Illness Voice gets loud, what does it stop you from doing?

ü  How has it impacted your relationships, sleep, or confidence?

ü  Even when anxiety has real influence—think about the last time you have the power to push it back.

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🌟 4. Find Exceptions to the Problem

ü  Identify moments when you resisted or wasn’t overwhelmed by the health fears.

ü  Was there a time recently when the Illness Anxiety started creeping in, but you handled it differently?

ü  Have there been moments when you were able to say, ‘I’m okay,’ and move forward?

ü  Do you feel confident or having inner strength to face the automatic thoughts.

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✍️ 5. Reauthor the Story

ü  So if we were to rewrite your story, how would you describe yourself? Maybe as someone who’s learning to trust their body again?

ü  What do you want your relationship with your health to look like in 6 months?

ü  Do you find yourself not just coping but rewriting how you relate to your health anxiety and your identity?

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💬 6. Strengthen the New Story

ü  Would you like to write a letter to your past self from this stronger version of you?

ü  What advice would the calmer you give when the Illness Voice tries to take over again?

  

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HERE IS A TIP ON WHAT TO SAY AND NOT TO SAY- IF YOU ARE CARING FOR SOMEONE WITH ILLNESS ANXIETY DISORDER: 

🫶 1. Be Non-Judgmental – Don’t Minimize Their Fear

❌ What NOT to say:

• “It’s probably nothing.”
• “You worry too much.”
• “You’re just imagining things.”

Even if well-intentioned, these can feel dismissive. For someone with IAD, the fear is very real, even if the illness isn’t.

✅ What TO say instead:

• “That sounds really scary for you.”
• “I can see how hard this has been.”
• “Your mind is trying to protect you—even if it’s overdoing it right now.”

🎯 How to do it:

• Acknowledge their emotions first, not the facts.
• Validate their experience before trying to offer comfort.

Example:
“It must be exhausting to feel on high alert all the time. I believe you’re really feeling this.”

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🔍 2. Be Curious, Not Corrective – Use Open-Ended Questions

❌ Avoid jumping in with:

• “You’re fine—stop Googling symptoms.”
• “There’s no point worrying.”
• “You already saw the doctor.”

.

✅ Try asking:

• “What does the anxiety usually say to you when you feel that symptom?”
• “What makes that symptom feel scarier some days than others?”
• “Have there been times when the fear passed more quickly?”

 

🎯 How to do it:

• Use a gentle, curious tone, like you're trying to understand their experience.
• Avoid trying to “fix” it. Help them explore it instead.

Example:
“When the chest pain started today, what went through your mind? What was the Illness Voice saying?”

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🌱 3. Celebrate Small Wins – Reinforce Progress

❌ Don’t say:

• “You only didn’t check your pulse for an hour. That’s not much.”
• “You still seem anxious.”

That discourages progress and reinforces perfectionism, which can fuel anxiety.

 

✅ Instead, say:

• “You didn’t check your symptoms for 30 minutes? That’s awesome!”
• “You noticed the anxiety and still got through your day. That takes strength.”
• “You were able to pause and breathe—that’s a big deal.”

🎯 How to do it:

• Catch and name the small victories—especially when they resist a compulsion or tolerate uncertainty.
• Keep your tone positive and affirming, even if the win seems tiny.

 

Example:
“You made space for that anxious feeling without reacting to it immediately—that’s a big step. That takes real courage.”

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💬 In Summary:

Principle	What You Do	What You Say
Non-Judgmental	Validate their feelings	“That sounds really overwhelming.”
Curious, Not Corrective	Ask open questions	“What was going through your mind when…?”
Celebrate Small Wins	Praise progress, however small	“That’s a huge step—great job noticing and pausing.”

 

Self-Care 103: When Anger Takes Over and Overthinking Steals Your Peace – There is a Way to Regulate It – Dr. Jiji Harner

 Dear Friends,

            I've been thinking deeply about your struggles, and I hope this provides some answers to the questions you’ve asked me lately.

           · Why do I end up engaging in a fight when I have no intention to fight at all? Or I feel overwhelmed, as if my only option is to get angry?

          · How can I control myself when I feel like the only way to protect what matters is to get angry?

·                 · What can I do to regulate myself when I get so irritable with minor things that it can set me off on fire?

            Anger is a normal reaction when you feel violated or want to prevent or stop something bad from happening. Anger is often a secondary emotion—underneath it might be sadness, fear, disappointment, grief, jealousy, guilt, or shame or triggering a traumatic past. Sometimes we might have grown up in a home where we learned such behavior, or our only way to get heard is through our anger. When you are upset, it is often fueled by wrong beliefs and you obsess on it; rationalizing and overthinking becomes a survival strategy. It’s how your mind tries to prevent chaos, control outcomes, and protect people. But this pressure can wear you down, and the process outweighs the outcome.

But here's the truth:
Overthinking won’t give you peace. Control won’t make you feel safe. And anger—though it feels powerful—often leaves you exhausted and alone.

Read below for ways to gently walk back from this spiral and return to your center.

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🔍 May be you’ve never pause and ask:

What’s Underneath the Overthinking and Anger?

ü  Fear that if you don't act, everything will fall apart

ü  Responsibility for others’ choices

ü  Disappointment when people don’t listen or change

ü  Shame about how your anger affects those you love

ü  Anxiety that spirals when you feel helpless

You’re not “too much.” You’re overwhelmed and trying to survive.

Photo by Rejen Bosquit

💌 THERE IS HELP AVAILABLE:

        When you are ready for a session with me, just send me a personal message on Messenger: Jiji Harner

        Here is more information about my services: https://safeguardmentalhealth.org/

🌱 Here are Tips I Recommend When Feeling Overwhelmed with Anger and Stop Ruminating and Giving in to the Downward Negative Spiral of Overthinking.
If this resonates with you, try these small but powerful steps today:

🔍 Part 1. Catch Your Automatic Thoughts – See How It Spirals Down
When the pressure builds and anger rises, pause and ask yourself these questions:

1. Trigger: What triggered this strong emotion or reaction?
2. Identify Core Belief: What did you think or tell yourself?
   Example: “If I don’t get angry, nothing will change.”
3. Notice the Consequence of This Thought: What did you feel or do?
   Example: Anger, anxiety, helplessness, lashing out, withdrawing, or ruminating and being unable to let go.
4. What Type of Faulty Thinking Are You Having?
   Catastrophizing? Black-and-white thinking? Responsibility fallacy?
5. Create Other Alternative Thoughts: What could be a healthier and more realistic belief or thought?
   Example: “I care deeply—but not everything is mine to fix. Even though I cannot fix everything, I have many things I CAN DO to help this situation – I WILL DO THAT INSTEAD.”
6. Calm Yourself Down (e.g., breathwork, take a break from the situation for a few minutes – go drink some water, spend time reflecting and journaling your feelings, listen to music, go for a walk, or talk to someone about an exciting part of your life, or do a gratitude journal.)

✏️ Part 2: Interrupt the Negative Spiral of Your Emotion:
      Try this:

1. Automatic Thought: “If I don’t get angry, nothing will change.”
2. Try to Find a More Realistic Thought:  ________________

Example:
Automatic Thought: “If I don’t make them do the right thing, they’ll ruin everything.”
Try to Find a More Realistic Thought: “They are responsible for their choices. I can lead with calm, not force.”

3. Assess: List as your weigh the longterm outcome if you don’t regulate your emotion? ______________________________
4. Do Something: How could I handle this situation better in this moment without waiting on others to make the first move? What can I do now to feel calmer? _______________________________

📝 Write About Your Experience Afterward:

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🧠 Part 3. When Overthinking Continues and Rumination Becomes Out of                                     Control – Do a Reality Check:

      Ask yourself gently:

1.  Is this a simple inconvenience or a crisis that I have to react strongly to stop right now? 

2.      Is it the right time to address it, or can it wait?

3.      Does the offense warrant my reaction or emotion?

4.      Does the outcome of my nagging, lashing out, silence, withholding affection, cutting off people, bantering, or fighting back outweigh my motive behind this reaction?

5.      What is in my control to make this matter beneficial for growth?

🗣️ Now speak this to yourself:
             “I can care without controlling. I can express without exploding. I can let go and still love well, and will set an appointment to address this when I am more calm and clear and can be respectful when I don’t get what I want.”

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💬 Part 4: Renew Your Mind: Replace the Inner Script

ü  “I don’t need to express anger in my behavior to be heard. I need to acknowledge my anger and process it to stay whole and create an impact on the person or situation I desire to change.”

ü  “Disappointment is real—but I can face it without falling apart and creating chaos for everyone around me.”

🌿 Try This Renewing Your Mind Practice:

        1.   Notice the old script: “I have to force it or it’ll fail.”

        2.  Name the new one: “I am not fighting for a life-and-death situation; I express it calmly and clearly or negotiate my expectations.”

        3.   Make a Commitment: Say it aloud – and write it 3x:

              Example: “I am not fighting for a life-and-death situation; I express it calmly and clearly or negotiate my expectations.”

         4. Nourish it: Pause and inhale/exhale calmly while putting your hand on your heart.

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🌼 Part 5: Find a Place to Calm Yourself Down: Be a Friend to Yourself
             This is how I would say it to myself:

            “You’ve been carrying so much. You are trying so hard to hold things together or keep things right that you forgot your heart needs holding, too. You are fine to be upset—it is a normal emotion. But it is not fine to act impulsively and carelessly harm the growth you have tended for a long time.
          Anger, overthinking, and the compulsion to act on this matter are so loud because they’re trying to protect something sacred. But it doesn’t have to be your only option to impact this situation. Yes, we need to stop immaturity, stop pretending, stop pain, stop something to make way for something better—but it will require careful planning, prayer, and negotiating. There’s power in peace. There’s clarity in calm. And there’s wisdom in letting go of what’s not yours to control.”

Do the inner work first: Is there someone you can talk to this time who can help you hold your heart and mind together and process this overwhelming reaction without talking to the person you are bothered by?

The only thing you have direct control over this time is yourself and the story you tell yourself about the situation. Face yourself. Accept that even though you feel this way, there are many things that are great about you and awesome things you are doing and achieving—you are fine, just struggling at this moment— you are on the process of changing it and make it healthy – this emotion will soon fade pause and think twice.

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📖 Part 6: Meditate on a Scripture of Hope & Stability

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You.” — Isaiah 26:3

Peace is not the result of control. It’s the fruit of surrendering to the one who can carry your heart’s desire and has a beautiful plan for you. You can trust the One who sees what you can’t.

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📝 Part 7: Journal

1. Catch the Negative Thought Spiral: 

Examples: Rewrite the Inner Script

q “Even if I don’t fix this, I am not failing.”

q “I am grounded, and their choices are not mine to control.”

Now rewrite your own Inner Script: 

3. Do something to create clarity inside you: do something to shift focus, something relaxing or fun, practice mindfulness, or pray. ____________________________

4. What I am beginning to realize about my emotional reaction is...

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💌 Part 8: My Declaration

I Am Grounded in Love, Not Driven by Fear
                  I don’t need anger to make an impact. I can pause without losing power. I can trust even when I feel let down. God is with me now—in this breath, in this boundary, in this moment.

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🙏 Try Talking to God

Dear God Who Created the Universe,

            This anger raging inside me is hard to control. The overthinking and ruminating are overwhelming. I can’t seem to control myself. My body feels like I am about to explode. You see the fire in my chest, the swirl in my thoughts. You know how badly I want things to be right. I feel that I need to change the situation or the person I am annoyed or enraged at so I can feel better. Take away the faulty thinking that others must change first so I can feel safe, better, and happier.

              Thank you for reminding me that this feeling will soon pass if I give myself the chance to change first and entrust this matter into your hands. Allow me to calm down, because sometimes, my anger speaks before my heart can breathe. Quiet the storm inside me. Help me pause instead of push. To be still before You and trust You instead of fix. Let me release what’s not mine to control. Protect the people around me from the collateral damage of my anger, fear, or anxiety. Restrain my body and tongue from setting things on fire. Remind me that You are present and You are working even when I step back.

             I choose to anchor myself in your sovereignty and love, not fear. I am choosing to think of the many things I can be grateful for, not panic. To react with compassion and not gaslight. To engage and speak appropriately and wisely. Right now, I surrender this control and compulsion of my anger and fear and rest on the promise “that all things work together for good to them who love God” – Romans 8:28.

In Jesus' Name, Amen.