Foundations of Emotional Health January 2021

    My husband Rick will be teaching Foundations of Emotional Health in January through Cebu Graduate School of Theology.  This class will give you a strong biblical foundation in dealing with the emotional and relational struggles you face.  This is also a great opportunity to strengthen relationships and get to know another person at a much deeper level.  It's great for spouses to take together or friends who are looking to deepen their relationship with the Lord together.

    There are 2 sections:  Friday mornings or Thursday evenings

    You can find more information about how to register at this FACEBOOK EVENT

    Jesus said that he can sum up all of Scripture in 2 sentences:  Love God and Love your neighbor as yourself.  Yet, Christians are following society and becoming so busy, so numbed and so distracted that we are not loving well.  And if we are not loving well, then we are not maturing as Christians.  The whole point of Emotionally Healthy Church is that spiritual and emotional maturity are inseparable.  It is impossible to be spiritually mature and remain emotionally immature (meaning that we are unable to love well those who are around us – the people closest to us don’t feel loved).

    Often Christians ignore their "negative" emotions (anger, sadness, fear, pain) for fear of sinning.  This is called denial and it has long term impacts on a person's physical and emotional health.  These “negative” emotions are meant to tell us something and should be brought to God so He can deal with our hearts.  If we are ignoring them, we are missing what God wants to do inside of us. 

    It is difficult to break off from the powerful patterns of our past until we know what they are and how they impact our present lifestyle and our walk with God.   Jesus' life-transforming power needs to penetrate and change many of the patterns of relating that we learned growing up in our families.  These patterns are expressed not only in our current family relationships, but also in our relationships in the workplace and in ministry. 

    Foundations of Emotional Health looks at 7 principles to help us experience deep transformation through our relationship with Christ.

1. Looking beneath the surface of our lives at the things that are tripping us up

2.  Breaking the power of past experiences that have shaped our emotional lives and behaviors in ways that are not loving

3.  Learning to live in vulnerability so that we can openly express our hurts and our love.

4.  Realizing our limits as human beings so that we will not burn ourselves out

5.  Grieving our losses before the Lord instead of pretending everything is ok

6.  Paying attention to others like Jesus did so that they feel loved

7.  Slowing down the pace of our lives so that we are spending quality time with the Lord and our cups will overflow.   Then we will be able to love others well and lead with integrity.  

The course is interactive and reflective.  We will learn skills and do activities that will help us to understand ourselves so that we can love better – both the Lord and those around us

September 2014 Emotionally Healthy Church Seminar Philippines

*This seminar is highly recommended for couples in ministry.

When:  3 Saturdays – September 13, 20; Oct 4

Time:  9am-4:00pm

Where:  Baptist Theological College

AS Fortuna, Mandaue

Space limited to 50 registrants.  Registration includes snack, lunch and notes

PRE-REGISTRATION with payment

All 3 Sessions P350  (P400 at the door)

Individual sessions P150 per session (P200 at the door)

*Early Bird Discount expires September 1 - All 3 sessions P300

Phone: 423 4720 (landline)   0923 458 4753 (sun)   0916 746 7715(globe)

Website:  http://rickandjijiharner.wix.com/ehc-php

Session 1 – Sept 13 – Looking Beneath the Surface; and Breaking the Power of the Past

Session 2 – Sept 20 – Living in Brokenness and Vulnerability; and Receiving the Gift of Limits

Session 3 – Oct 4 – Embracing Grieving and Loss; and Making the Incarnation your Model for Loving Well  

In 2003, Pastor Pete Scazzero won the Gold Medallion for Evangelical Writers with this challenging book.  Pete tells his story of planting New Life Fellowship of Queens, NY - a very “successful” church on the outside, but seeing his own soul wither in the midst of conversions, baptisms and explosive church growth.  This seminar will focus on a biblical understanding of emotional issues like fear, anger and seeking the approval of others that have the potential to undermine our ministries.  He challenges evangelicals to return to Scripture for their theology and engage biblical topics that seem to have been lost in current evangelical teaching. 

PRESENTERS:  Rick and Jiji Harner are missionaries with New Life Fellowship (Queens, NY) serving in Cebu since 2006.  They will be presenting this experiential seminar that will encourage you to go deeper in your relationship with God and to search your own soul as David expressed in Psalm 139:23-24 - Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.  Rick and Jiji attended New Life Fellowship under Pastor Pete Scazzero and have been sent to Cebu as missionaries of the church.  Rick is part-time pastor of Olive Grove Christian Ministries in Mabolo, in addition to directing a community tutoring program in Consolacion called G1:27.  Jiji is a graduate of Alliance Graduate School of Counseling in Nyack, NY and is a faculty member at Cebu Graduate School of Theology in AS Fortuna, handling their counseling courses in addition to her private practice in counseling.

Review of Emotionally Healthy Woman in Singapore

Last month my husband and I spent a week in Singapore assisting Pete & Geri Scazzero as they shared the wisdom of Emotionally Healthy Spirituality with leaders from all over Southeast Asia.  Eagles Leadership Institute hosted the Scazzeros as they presented different components of EHS over 4 days.  Pete & Geri invited Kelly & Shirly Ng and my husband & I to demonstrate skills and facilitate group processes during the experiential seminars.   I was privileged to assist Geri as she challenged the audience to stop pretending everything is fine and change their lives.  Geri described her experience as a pastor’s wife whose life was overfull and out of control in her book Emotionally Healthy Woman.  Through her experience she learned that she needed to “Quit” many unhealthy habits to regain control of her life and joy in her ministry.  Geri identifies 8 different unhealthy habits that need to be given up in order to find one’s God-given path.  She challenged the ladies (and some men) in attendance to begin a journey toward emotional health in the midst of tremendous pressures they face in their lives and ministries.  Personal application of the Biblical truth described in Emotionally Healthy Woman requires a paradigm shift from cultural and worldly norms to living life God’s way. 

The point that really caught people’s attention and reaction is the Quit being afraid of what others think.  Geri was asked lots of questions during this session probably because this poses a much greater challenge in Asian Culture compared to Western culture.  Although Geri showed how this is also a struggle in Western cultures, the reaction of the group was quite strong.  You could see the puzzle in the faces of the participants.  “If I quit being afraid of what others think – then who will I become?”

Asian cultures have a strong tendency to listen and pay attention to significant people around them.  Some cultural norms include ancestor worship, karma and beliefs that you can easily be cursed if you displease someone. These cultures teach the value of oneness and group loyalty: “we are one and we belong to each other.”  The desire to please and submit to authority has been inculcated in our minds.  To undo this tendency is almost impossible because it is considered disrespectful, bad and ungodly to not do what those around you expect of you.  To varying degrees Asian cultures tend to be other-directed, thinking:  “How will others view my actions?”  Instead of self-directed:  “What do I think of my action?”  People in Asian cultures tend to be more sensitive to how others are affected by their behavior.   They tend to want to align their behavior to keep order and are even willing to sacrifice themselves for the good of the group.  If they are to quit being afraid of what other thinks of them, it will shatter the cultural norm of altruism and being loving and shake the very core of who they are. 

In Filipino culture families prefer to live close to each other.  Among Filipinos (whether Chinese, Muslim or Christian), it is common to see families live in one compound or one house.  In-laws have to live with the expectations their husband’s family of origin.  Singles do not leave their parents and are under the authority and approval of their parents for everything. 

It is normal to hear parents tell their children, “If you do that, what will others think of us?” The shame is too much to bear so they avoid anything that will bring shame to themselves and shame to others.  Filipinos try to be experts of sensing the social weather.  Therefore they can constantly shift and must be alert to detect when the social mood changes.  You need to be able to read people’s minds and be able to deliver what people want even before it is asked. 

In fact it is safe to say that people are suffering from a phobia of what will people think.  They will even give up a better position, privileges and personal freedom if they think that it will elicit negative thoughts toward them.  For example: My neighbor, who was a manager, lost her job and had been out of work for several years.  Recently a friend helped her find a job where she worked.  Because of her experience and competence she was offered a higher position, but she refused to accept the position because the friend who helped her get the job was not getting the same privilege.  She preferred to stay in a lower position with less compensation because she was afraid that her co-worker would think she is “mukhang pera” (money face - greedy).  Though she would imagine life would be easier if she took the offer, she is also very happy she did not because she cannot bear the pain of the thought of her friend thinking bad about her.   

In spite of some resistance, the audience was convinced that even though it is a cultural norm, it is not Biblical to be controlled by what others think and it is not how God intended us to live.  Geri carefully made the distinction that to quit being afraid of what people think is not to forget or ignore the very self that God created in you.  God created you, with a self that feels, thinks and values something.  God is coming to you through the movement of your heart.  What you feel and think and how you react matter to God.  It is important to consider what people think and how they will react.  To have some fear of what others think of you is normal.  However, to be driven by such fear is detrimental to your personhood and your relationship to these people.  Only when your identity is firmly grounded in the love of God will you have the power to resist the temptation of getting validation of your “okayness” from the approval of other people.  

To become an emotionally healthy woman, there are things we do that we need to stop doing.  Quitting those things that are damaging to our souls is the path to true freedom and becoming the very person God created you to be.  Quitting takes a tremendous amount of courage.  Only the soul whose identity is founded in the love of God will take the risk to attempt the impossible mission to quit being being afraid of what people think.

For more information on The Emotionally Healthy Woman book, clink the link below:  

http://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/