A common problem that we all face – procrastination.Tim Urban’s popular Ted Talk provides some key insights into how our minds work in our procrastinating moments.Based on this self-awareness, we can become more conscious of how to choose to not procrastinate the most important things in life.Below are some process questions to help you think through the material:
1. Draw a graph of how you work on assignments or
projects
2.What 2 things does the instant gratification
monkey care about?
3.What are some things that humans can do that no
other animal can do?
4.What makes for success for a dog?
5.What are the criteria for decisions for the
rational decision maker?
6.Why are the seemingly fun activities in “the
dark playground” not really fun?
7.Who helps rescue the procrastinator from the
gratification monkey? How does he do it?
8.What are the 2 kinds of procrastination?
9.What impact does long term procrastination have
on a person?
10.Why does the panic monster help with long term
procrastination?
11.What was Tim Urban’s epiphany?
12.How does he suggest that we begin to get a
handle on our procrastinating?
13.When should you do something about your
procrastinating habit?
14.What is your most important realization from
listening to this talk?
15.What is 1 step you need to take to get better in
this area?
Cognitive Behavior Therapy identifies the mastering of automatic thoughts as key for overcoming anxiety, depression and even anger issues. A key idea is that all the thoughts that pop into your brain are not really your mature and realistic thought processes. Your initial thoughts provide options, but it is vital to your mental well-being that you evaluate and choose to hold onto thoughts that are beneficial. When we are stuck, we tend to automatically accept our initial thoughts as true without questioning the validity, and then faulty thoughts have a great influence on our emotions and our behaviors, sabotaging our personal well-being and our relationships. To overcome this it is important to become adept at understanding and dealing with your automatic thoughts.
Watch the video to learn how automatic thoughts contribute to anxiety. Questions 1-6 below are basic comprehension questions to help you identify some key concepts from the video. Questions 7-11 are application questions that can help you begin to deal with your own automatic thoughts.
Happy Thinking!
Questions:
1. What happens to people who get caught in cycles of automatic
negative thinking?
2. Give an example of an automatic thought for each of the
following categories of cognitive distortion:
Assuming or Mind-Reading
Shoulds, musts & oughts
The Fairy Tale Fantasy
Overgeneralizing
Catastrophizing
3. How do you stop Automatic Thoughts?
4. What are the 3 Rs you can use to control automatic thoughts
5. If it is hard to think of a good response to your own
automatic thought, what should you do?
6. Why do you think people can think of a good response to the
overgeneralizing thought of a friend, but not to your own overgeneralizing
thought?
Application:
7. What automatic thoughts do you experience?
8. What emotion are they related to (fear, anger, sadness)?
9. In what circumstances do you find yourself experiencing a lot of automatic thoughts?
10. What cognitive distortion do you see yourself using?
11. What can your replace this cognitive distortion with?
Patrick Lencioni, in his book, identifies 3 qualities that make for an ideal team player. In our interdependent and interconnected world, the ability to get along and thrive on a "team" has become more and more of a necessity for people entering the corporate workplace. And these virtues impact every area of our involvement from our families to recreational groups to which we belong. If you're trying to build a team, these ideas can help you discern who to bring on the team and who to leave out.
Watch the video and then take a look in the mirror to see how you can grow to become more of an ideal team player. The questions below should be of help
1.Name & describe the 3 important virtues of a
team player.
2.What are some false ideas of humility?What is the real meaning?
3.What virtue is the accidental messmaker missing
and what problem does this create for the team?
4.What virtue is the lovable slacker missing and
what problem does this create for the team?
5.What virtue is the skillful politician missing
and what problem does this create for the team?
Application Questions:
6.Evaluate yourself and rank your humility, hunger
& smarts.What is your lowest and
why do you think it is your lowest?
7. What can you do to improve?
8.Who are the best people that you can you ask for
advice about how to improve?
9. Perhaps your rank would be different in different groups in which you are involved. Try to think of 3 different groups to which you belong (work, family, volunteer group) Rank the 3 virtues as you perceive yourself in each of the 3 groups
Jim Tamm, a judge from California, has researched the problems caused by defensiveness. In this Ted Talk - Cultivating Collaboration: Don't be so Defensive! - he offers his insight on how to lower your personal defensiveness and thus increase your ability collaborate with every group that you are a part of.
Here are some questions to help you garner main points from the material and make a few personal applications:
How do red zone chickens become stars?
Describe a Red Zone environment
What is the difference between internally competitive and
externally competitive?
What happens when we become defensive?
In which of your relationships do you find yourself being very
defensive?
What increases when you decrease your defensiveness?
How did you feel after the speaker’s actions at 8:08 in the
video?
What are we defending ourselves from when we get defensive?
What are the areas of our 3 big fears? **Which of those 3 is causes the biggest defensive reaction in
you?
What are the 5 steps the speaker gives to become less defensive?
Why is it important to acknowledge your defensiveness?
What is a good way for you to slow down your physiology?
What negative self-talk do you use?
What action step can you make that is directly related to your own signs of defensiveness?
Below are listed common signs of defensiveness from the
video: Which of these do you use?
Life is hard. Lying is one of the common defense mechanisms we use to protect ourselves and others from negative consequences. So if you have lied and deceived yourself - you are not alone. Quit blaming others: your parents, spouse, children, haters or yourself for a mistake or sin you have committed. Take ownership of your life and take responsibility for not taking the initiative to change for the better. The following are questions that are designed to process important ideas, evaluate your behavior, and embark on a quest to confront yourself and grow. To my students or patients I am sending to watch this video this can save some counseling hours if you simply take a paper and pen and begin answering these process questions. We can discuss what you have learned and create a personal application or changes you are hoping to accomplish in your life.
T
1.When is a time in your life that you fooled
yourself into believing something that was false?
2.What is a time in your life that you refused to
believe something that was true?
3.How do we gain the opportunity to change?
4.What painful experience from your childhood has
had a great influence on who you are today?
5.When is a situation where you have been in
denial?
6.In what situations do you use rationalization?
7.In which of your relationships do you find
yourself projecting?
8.From your own life, give an example of when you
have used the following cognitive distortions:
i.Polarized thinking
ii.Emotional reasoning
iii.Overgeneralization
9.How does the speaker interpret meaninglessness?
10.In what ways have you compromised yourself to
meet cultural norms?
11.What is the biggest problem with self-deception?
12.Why was there was nothing her boyfriend could do
that would make her feel safe?
13.What is the first step to becoming more honest
to ourselves and stopping the self-deception
14.When are some important times to stop and
observe yourself?
15.In your most recent conflict, how did you
react? What does that reaction tell you
about yourself?
16.According to the speaker: Although we cannot control many of the
situations we experience in life, we are responsible for our reactions to all
of them. What are your thoughts on this
statement? When has this been a hard
truth for you to accept?
17.When you hear the speaker say, “What if my whole
life changes? . . . What if it doesn’t
change?” What about your life comes to
your mind?
A core value of Emotionally Healthy Spirituality is
vulnerability. This famous Ted Talk
explores how a social scientist in her research discovered the importance of
vulnerability to be able to connect with other people, while offering a glimpse
into Dr. Brown’s personal struggle to apply this wonderful truth in her own
life. If you are planning to lead any of the Emotionally Healthy curriculum, it is very important that you lead with vulnerability.
Below are listed some study questions to help you glean
important points and integrate the learning into your own life. The ** questions are the personal application questions. (What does vulnerability look like in your life)
What destroys connection?
What is the one variable that
separates people who really have a sense of worthiness (they have a strong
sense of love and belonging) from the folks who struggle for it (folks who are
always wondering if they're good enough)?
What do you absolutely have to do
for connection?
The people who felt worthy
believed that________________ was
necessary.They had a willingness to
say______________________ FIRST.They are willing to do something when there
are no guarantees.They
_________________ in a relationship that may or may not work out
Vulnerability is the core of ______________
& _____________ & our struggle for ___________________shame and fear
and our struggle for worthiness, but it's also the ________________ of joy, of
creativity, of belonging, of love.
What is a very common response to
vulnerability?
**How do you numb vulnerability?
What is the problem with numbing
vulnerability?
**What things make you feel
vulnerable?
**_________________is a way to discharge pain and discomfort. When
is a recent time that you blamed someone?What caused you to blame?How did
you feel before you blamed them?How did
you feel after?
What are children hardwired
for?What does this mean?According to the speaker what is the
important job of parents?
What’s the most important thing
to do when we do something wrong?
What is the other way instead of
numbing vulnerability?
What happens when we believe that
we are enough?
**Do you believe that you are
enough?Why or why not?
Breaking the
Power of Anxiety is a 4-week group workshop on Zoom with group process meant to help
people struggling with anxiety. Each session will consist of approximately 45 minutes of lecture and education
about anxiety: its symptoms, its causes and how to overcome it. The
lectures are Biblically based and bring in current psychological
information and research based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. After the
lecture, there will be about 1 hour for participants to process the information
in a small group setting. Questions will be presented to engage
participants with information and techniques of the lecture. The purpose
here is for participants to gain self-awareness of how anxiety strikes them and
its roots, along with skills for self-regulating and self-soothing when they
are beginning to feel anxious.
The group process follows the rule - Invite,
not inflict - meaning you are always invited to participate with questions,
but never required to or forced to participate. There will be "homework" for the participants to pay attention to their own thought patterns and emotional reactions during the week so that they can learn to regulate their physiological responses that lead to fight and flight reactions which can lead to generalized anxiety or panic attacks.
Dates: Mondays: December 7, 14, 21 & January 4 Time 7-9 pm (Philippines time) Cost: P1000 covers all 4 sessions
to register, email rickandjijiharner@yahoo.com for details & zoom link
If money is the reason for not attending this workshop. There are scholarships available.
Please email josefalaprodes@yahoo.com to find out more about scholarships
Dr. Jiji Harner, who specializes in mood disorder will be lecturing and overseeing the seminar. Small group process will be run by facilitators trained by Dr. Jiji
Josefa “Jiji” Harner, RPsy, DODT, MAMHC, MAPsych, BSW. She is a licensed Clinical Psychologist, and holds a degree in Social Work as well as a Masters in Mental Health Counselling, from Nyack College, New York; Masters in Psychology, and a Doctorate in Organization Development and Transformation from Cebu Doctors’ University. Her expertise is in the treatment of Mood Disorders: depression, anxiety disorders, panic attacks, and trauma-related issues. She also provide therapeutic family intervention in the court and providing victims’ assistance for children victims of sexual abuse. Dr. Jiji Harner is also a Trauma-Care Specialist providing Crisis Management Intervention Plan, Trauma-Informed Crisis Intervention, and Safeguard Program for Individuals and Organization exposed in critical and traumatic situations. In addition to her clinical practice, she, together with her husband, have developed and conducted seminars in Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Emotionally Healthy Leaders and Emotionally Healthy Relationships and other workshops covering various mental health issues - how to spot them and how to help those who are struggling.
